Note that you must open the connection and execute the command before you can access the result of the SQL query. ExecuteScalar returns a single result value (different methods must be used if your query will return an multiple columns and / or multiple rows).

Notice the use of the using construct, which will safely close and dispose of the connection.

string selectTopics = "select count(*) from topics";
// Define the ADO.NET Objects
using (SqlConnection con = new SqlConnection(connectionString))
{
   SqlCommand topiccmd = new SqlCommand(selectTopics, con);
   con.Open();
   int numrows = (int)topiccmd.ExecuteScalar();
   if (numrows == 0)
    {
        noTopics.Visible = true;
        topics.Visible = false;
    }
}

ExecuteScalar is what you're looking for. (method of SqlCommand)

Btw, stick with C#, there's no way PHP is easier. It's just familiar.

You need to open the connection This might work :

SqlConnection sqlConnection1 = new SqlConnection("Your Connection String");
SqlCommand cmd = new SqlCommand();
SqlDataReader reader;

cmd.CommandText = "select count(*) from topics";
cmd.CommandType = CommandType.Text;
cmd.Connection = sqlConnection;
sqlConnection1.Open();

reader = cmd.ExecuteReader();
// Data is accessible through the DataReader object here.

sqlConnection1.Close();

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